Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I smell stomach acid.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Is her dick bigger than yours?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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