I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
