i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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