I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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