Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
