Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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