my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
