i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize