There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
im six kinds of drunk right now
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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