so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
