dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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