This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
