he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
At least life still wants to fuck me.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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