...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
