So drunk its hurt
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
