YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
