dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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