There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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