You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
