I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
