She's JV to your varsity
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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