I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
she pinky promised me she was 18
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
