Someone shit on the floor
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
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