Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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