How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
