You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
