Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
then he tried to convert me to islam
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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