Nicole vs. Life
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize