Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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