if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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