I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
