"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
