Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
