You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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