I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
