Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
my poor anus
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
