My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
