The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
