dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
