And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
