just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize