Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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