I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
