I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
