Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
