My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize