My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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