your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
