Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
