Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize