i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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