Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
