Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
