Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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