I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
