Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
