Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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