haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
