Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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