The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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