I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
