Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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