for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
