bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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