i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
