I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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