Screwed.edu
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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