You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
