I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
