You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
